Do You Believe in Life After Love
This article is for people who suffer and are unhappy in relationships where they are harmed. I share hope and experience that after separation it may be possible to build a calmer, safer life.
By Iveta Upeniece
Who this is for
This article is dedicated to people who suffer and are unhappy in relationships where they are being harmed and do not feel safe or valued. My writing speaks to people who have lived through, or are currently moving through, similar processes.
Support and reality
I feel genuine joy when people finally manage to leave abusive relationships, even when everything still feels recent and painful to them. In some situations, professional support and trusted people step in to help and protect. Although these experiences are difficult, they give me hope and faith that protection and assistance can be found.
Loss and grieving
The Cher song title — "Do You Believe in Life After Love" — accurately reflects feelings people can experience after separation. Some people experience the loss as a grief process that can feel similar to bereavement, and that process can be long and painful.
The good parts and attachment
Even in relationships involving physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, there may also have been good moments that helped keep a person attached to a partner. Sometimes those moments were brief or coloured by passion and illusion, yet the loving partner truly felt them. Those feelings, together with the hope that the other person will understand, see, and value them, can remain after separation and prolong emotional attachment.
Different paces — the lizard metaphor
People get past loss at different speeds — some seem to release quickly, like a lizard dropping its tail, while others grieve for years. Each way is personal; there is no single correct timetable for recovering from a separation.
Hope and future possibilities
From my practical experience, many people who work on themselves, keep a journal, speak with a professional, and seek support later manage to build calmer, safer relationships. I hope this experience helps you believe that life after love, however deep or powerful it once felt, can become calmer — with fewer emotional storms, greater autonomy, and renewed attention to your own needs in relationships.
Separation can become not only a time of personal transformation, but also a rediscovery of yourself, a new life, and a new system of values. When approached consciously, it can be one path toward becoming a home to yourself. And yes, there is life after love — with new people, possibilities, and challenges, but also with a different kind of awareness.